Chitty Chitty Bang Ow!
by Numbuh296
Summary: Calvin uses his box to build a scientifically advanced car, but after Calvin's parents and Susie are kidnapped, he and Hobbes have to resue them. Please R&R.
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I don't own Calvin and Hobbes, or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Note From author: I decided to write this on a whim, so don't expect much. My first C&H fic.

Chitty Chitty Bang OW!

It was a bright and beautiful day in the neighborhood. All was quiet and serene. The first weeks of summer was always like this. Susie was playing with her dolls, and Calvin's mom was reading in the hammock.

Calvin and Hobbes were sitting under an oak tree in their backyard. Unfortunately, Calvin could not take in the beauty of the situation.

"Boy, what a rotten day this is!" said Calvin. Calvin, a short boy was spiky blond hair and red shirt with black horizontal stripes said.

"Calvin, it's great out. Look, you can even see chipmunks running up that tree," Hobbes told Calvin. Now Hobbes was a fierce jungle tiger, best friend of Calvin. He possessed some human qualities, such as talking and walking on two's, but he kept his feline charm.

"Big deal! You've seen on squirrel without a tail, you've seen them all. I just wish something different would happen," retorted Calvin.

The back door of Calvin's house swung open. Out came Calvin's dad. He was a tall man who wore glasses, the sole wage earner of the house.

" Guess what family!" he said. "I just booked us another camping trip. This time for _two _weeks. We leave on Wednesday!"

"Oh joy," commented Calvin's mom.

" **AAAUUUGGGHHH!**" screamed Calvin.

"Hey, you asked," snickered Hobbes.


	2. Three Ain't the Charm

****

Chapter Two

Three ain't the Charm

"Great, just great!" Calvin was telling Hobbes, who were both now in his room. "I can't believe Dad wants us to go camping _again!"_

"Yea, especially after what happened last year. My tail gets bushy just thinking about it."

"I wonder when dad will find out that's not his real car…" Calvin thought out loud. "But back to the situation at hand, I CAN'T STAND CAMPING."

"Well, since you can't do anything about it, I guess we'll have to suffer through it." Hobbes said.

"NO WAY! I'll never admit defeat! But what can we do?"

Calvin and Hobbes jumped on his bed. They both thought about it very hard.

"Hey! Susie's going to Gettysburg this week! We could go with her!" Hobbes said, eyes beginning to grow.

"NO WAY! And as supreme-dictator-for-life…" Calvin dug into his drawer looking for his paper hat and little black book. When he found them, he put his hat on, and opened the book up.

"You get five demerits for suggesting an seditious proposal," Calvin said, writing in the book.

They heard Calvin's dad pass by his room, saying, "Gosh, just look at all this spam! We'll be prepared for sure this time!"

* * *

Susie opened her front door,

"Oh it's you! What do you want, Calvin?" asked Susie, a brown haired girl wearing overalls.

"Hi Susie! Hobbes and I were just wondering if we could you on your trip to Spagettisberg?"

"No!" Susie quickly said, slamming the door.

"But-But-but CAMPING! BUGS! SPAM!" Calvin tried to scream through the glass on the door. "Phooey, it's no use. Let's go home Hobbes."

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were now back in his room.

"Great! What'll we do now?" asked Calvin.

"Hmm… I don't know." replied Hobbes.

Calvin and Hobbes paced around the room.

"Hey, I got it!" Calvin said jumping to his feet! "Maybe we could convince Mom to take us somewhere else."

"Worth a shot, "Hobbes said.

Calvin and Hobbes ran down to the kitchen.

"Hey mom, Can we go to Disneyworld instead of camping?"

"No Calvin," Calvin's mom said, not even looking up from the dinner she was cooking.

"Why notttt?" Calvin's voice dragged.

"We already paid for the rock, and it's too expensive."

"How about just you and me and Hobbes then?"

"Sorry Calvin"

"How about just you and me? PLEEASSE?" Calvin begged, getting more desperate.

"NO CALVIN!"

Calvin growled, and walked back to his room.

"It's as if mom likes camping," Calvin said to Hobbes.

"Hmph," Hobbes growled. "Serves you right for trying to abandon me."

"Oh hush. I was getting distressed. The pressure got to me."

Calvin and Hobbes walked back to his room again.

"Well, unless we go ourselves, I doubt we can go anywhere else." Hobbes said.

"THAT'S IT!" Calvin cried.

"What's it?" Hobbes asked, getting suspicious.

"I have an idea!" Calvin said. He walked into his closet and pulled out his box.

"Just let me make a few adjustment's…"


	3. C'mon, Let's Go!

Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes or the plot to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Chapter Two

C'mon, Let's Go!

A brown rabbit was gnawing on some grass. Blissfully unaware of its surroundings, it just chewed the blades it was currently eating. Suddenly, its keen rabbit ears picked up a snap of a twig. The rabbit started sprinting towards its rabbit hole, hoping to make it in time.

It was getting closer…five feet…four feet…three feet…two feet…one foot…six inches… it was almost there. Just then, a mass of orange fur appeared right in front of it. The rabbit quickly did a two-seventy degree rotation and took off towards the tree. But the faster it sprinted, the faster the orange…thing behind it went. Oh man, the rabbit was sure it was the end. The forest next to the field he was in was fifty feet away. Just then, the rabbit tripped in a furry mass. He couldn't tell what it was.

The rabbit laid on the ground, looking up. Staring him in the face was an evil looking, mutagenic house cat, he thought. The rabbit was prepared for the excruciating pain that was about to befall him. The face of the monster got closer. Five inches…four inches…three inches…two… But then, something amazing happened. The monster just got up and left. He just walked away! On two feet, no less! Taking this as a moment of opportunity, the rabbit scurried down to his hole and decided to stay their till the next day.

"Where have you been, tuna for brains?" Asked a rather distressed Calvin, sitting on his bed.

"I was giving the animals outside…" Hobbes paused, and put his elbow on Calvin's desk. "A run for their money."

"Well, whatever. Hobbes, look at this!" Calvin ran down the stairs, through the backyard, and behind the tree that held his infamous tree house.

"Presenting…My newest invention!"

"Wow, what is it?" Asked Hobbes.

"Well, remember how mom and dad wanted us to go camping? I thought of a better vacation."

"Almost anything would be," Hobbes added.

"Right. Well Hobbes, I have two words for you. Road Trip!"

Hobbes perked up at the idea, but then was inquisitive, remembering past adventures with Calvin's box.

"Will we be transmogrified? Duplicated? Sent to the stone age?"

"Good grief! It's just a Supercar!" Calvin screamed.

"Super Car?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin sighed. "It's delayed teleportation. Anywhere on earth we want to go we can get there in three hours or less."

"That sounds okay." said Hobbes. :So where are we going to?"

"Anywhere! My…umm…well…it doesn't exactly have a name yet. Anyways, this car makes it seem like it's going at maybe forty to sixty miles an hour, but in reality, goes much faster. So where to?"

"How about…the beach? Tigers love the water. Not to mention the hot dogs and sea salt ice cream!" Hobbes started licking his lips!

"That's a great idea, Hobbes! Without mom and dad to get in the way, the beach could be fun!" Calvin exclaimed. "But there are still a few things we need to take care of…"

Calvin took out a piece of paper and a pencil. He began mumbling and scribbling at the same time.

"Here" he said. He handed a list to Hobbes

Hobbes began to read the list aloud. "Swimsuits…goggles…money…beach towel…beach umbrella…sandwiches…water…double A batteries… Yup. It's all here. Double A batteries?"

One double A battery will charge the care for sixteen hours. See? Here's the adapter."

"It looks like you cut a hole in the box and placed a Gameboy Color in there." Hobbes stated.

"It doubles as a navigational GPS and radio."

"Cool," Hobbes said. "Wait! This thing still needs a name."

"Oh right. Hmmm… what do we name it?" pondered Calvin.

They both thought.

"How about the Hobbes-mobile?" Asked Hobbes.

"What! My car! NEVER! I'm sure I could come up with a bunch of better names then the Hobbes-Mobile."

Soon after, Hobbes wrote "Hobbes-mobile" on the back of Calvin's invention, and Calvin couldn't object.

"C'mon flea-fest." Calvin said. "We need to get those supplies. I'll get the swimsuits, beach umbrella, double A batteries, and make some sandwiches. You get the rest." Hobbes agreed, and they were off.

It was two o'clock in the afternoon. Calvin and Hobbes had gathered all the things they needed.

"What do we do now?" Asked Hobbes.

"Just put it all in the back," said Calvin, as he climbed in." There should be a storage space you can cram it in."

Hobbes looked to the back of the Hobbes-Mobile. He saw a blue schoolbag.

"In here?" He asked Calvin.

"Yea," Calvin responded. "I was able to make this car hold up to one-hundred items in the back without gaining any weight at all. Best of all, we can carry the storage area out of the car, so long as we keep the charge going."

"Great!" said Hobbes, as he climbed into the seat next to Calvin. A steering wheel came out of the floor, and moved up to Calvin's arm level.

"Ta-Da!" said Calvin.

"That's a pretty good trick. By the way, Calvin, where did you get these seats?" Asked Hobbes, pointing at the seats they were sitting on for reference.

"Oh, they used to be car seats. I found them at the local junkyard."

"Oh. OK. Lets go!" shouted Hobbes.

Calvin turned on the GPA, and chose the best route to get to the beach, which was an old dirt road. He started up the car, and it moved to the old pathway.

"Wow this is pretty cool. I love convertibles!" Hobbes said. "Hey, what's this?" Hobbes pointed to a small chocolate milk carton that was glued to the bottom of the box.

"Oh, that's the car's Beta Recollection of Unicellular Manifest, or BRUM, for short. It gives the car, senses and emotions, at least electronically. If ever in an emergency, or if we're just bored, this little baby will actually think of an answer to anything. But, I installed a chip in it, so it's completely loyal to us. In addition, it has a chronicler, so it absorbs information, and, if we want, the 'Hobbes-mobile', will tell us where it has been. Kinda like a gauge that measures miles, but more handy."

"That's cool," said Hobbes. "A car that's smarter than it's creator!" Hobbes laughed.

"Cool it, fur-butt, or I'll let you off at the next gas station," Calvin hissed.

After about twenty minutes, Hobbes was starting to get a little impatient.

"I'm getting a little bored. How about some radio?"

"Good idea!" said Calvin. He reached for the GPS to turn on the radio. Calvin pressed the radio option on the screen. No response. He tried again. Still none.

"Great! Just Great! Now what do we do?" griped Calvin.

"Well, we can come up with our own music."

"Yea right."

"No really, listen…" Hobbes replied. They both heard the engine making sounds. _Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Chitty Chitty Bang-_OW! A spring came up from one of the seats and hit Calvin. Hobbes laughed. Calvin became sour. They listened to the sound of the car, and suddenly, without any warning, Hobbes broke out in song.

Hobbes: Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
Oh you pretty Chitty Bang Bang  
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
You are Great  
Calvin: Hobbes you know that  
there is nothing more that I hate--  
Hobbes: But, Cal'! This is our pal  
On Hobbes-mobile we depend.  
Go Bang Bang Hobbes' Mobile  
Our fine four fendered friend.  
Go Bang Bang Hobbes' Mobile  
Our fine four fendered friend.

Calvin Jumped in…**  
Calvin: Bulky box, brown square, my dear.  
I wish I hadn't brought you here.  
And the car fits in that area too!  
**_Hobbes glared at Calvin_

Hobbes: At least I'm not a frizzy top  
Too cheap to buy anyone an ice pop!  
Calvin: Is that the best you can doooo?

Both Calvin and Hobbes were getting into the beat now.**  
Both: Oh Hobbes-Mobile  
Pretty Hobbes-Mobile  
Bring us there  
And Hobbsey mobile  
Racer Hobbes-Mobile  
Without Care.  
Calvin: I'm gonna swim  
Hobbes: And I'm gonna eat  
Both: But both with our best friend!**

Calvin and Hobbes put their arms around each others shoulder's, and sang one last chorus

**Both:Go Go Hobbes-Mobile Go  
Our fine four fendered friend.  
Go Go Hobbes-Mobile Go**

**Hobbes: Our fine four fendered friend** (_Hobbes held this word through the next two lines)_**  
Calvin: Hobbesy-mobile  
Hobbsey Hobbsey Mobile **

Both: Fine four fendered Hobbesy Hobbesy friend

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances, just realizing what the did. There was a brief silence. Then, Calvin and Hobbes burst out in laughter. The Hobbes-mobile rounded a hill, and our two friends laughed and sang all the way to the beach.


End file.
